Most of us were promoted for knowing things. We know the answer, the process, the history and how this conversation is likely to go. That knowing is useful, until it stops us seeing what is in front of us.
When we lead from what we already know, leadership quietly becomes transactional.
We hear the words and miss what sits underneath them.
We read someone's behaviour as resistance, or take it personally, without ever asking what is happening for them.
We miss their gifts, ideas, experience and potential.
The cost is measurable. Salesforce Research surveyed more than 1,500 US professionals and found that only 36% felt empowered to perform their best work. Those who felt their voice was heard at work were 4.6 times more likely to feel that way.
Being heard is not a soft extra. It is one of the conditions for performance.
Inquiry is a superpower. When leaders slow down and deeply inquire into themselves and others, magic can happen.
Inquiry moves leadership beyond the transactional and creates the conditions for deeper connection, collaboration, creativity, innovation and engagement.
And it starts with self.
Sometimes we avoid looking inward because slowing down might reveal something uncomfortable: how we're communicating, what we're feeling, what isn't working.
But the more we ignore our inner world, the more disconnected we become from our own wisdom.
If we cannot become present and curious with ourselves, it becomes much harder to offer that depth of presence and curiosity to another person.
3-Step Practice - Presence, Curiosity, Invitation
Presence. Slow down. Become present to yourself, the person and the environment. Notice, listen, watch and sense.
Curiosity. Get yourself out of the way. Rather than becoming defensive or making someone's behaviour personal, ask: What's happening for this person? What's underneath what I'm seeing? What don't I know yet
Invitation. Create space for people to contribute their perspective, ideas, experience and voice. Their input doesn't make them the decision-maker. It tells them their contribution is valued.
I think of inquiry as shining a torch into the dark. It illuminates what is already there but hasn't yet been seen.
When I was leading a school, I became deeply curious about the people around me - not just what their job descriptions said but their skills, experience, passions and what genuinely lit them up.
New possibilities emerged for our educational program, built on capability that already existed within the team.
People became more engaged because they could bring more of what they knew and loved into their work.
The same thing happened with our board and parent community. The capability was already there. Inquiry helped illuminate it.
Inquiry also creates alignment, not simply harmony. It shows you where people are best placed, where they are fulfilled, and where something may no longer be aligned.
Stephen R. Covey put it simply: "Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”
When you lead this way, something shifts. You walk into conversations less certain and far more interested.
You react less and ask more.
You hear what's underneath the words, and you begin to find ideas, strengths and new leaders in your team that were there all along.
Reflection: Where in your leadership are you assuming you already know? And what might you see if you shone the torch there first?
